Monday, April 13, 2009

Need advice about whether to end a friendship!?

I have a friend for fifteen years. We went to HS, ran track and went the same college for awhile. three years ago she got married and I was maid of honor. We had problems in the friendship before, but managed to stay in contact. I broke my back and bank trying to do the bridesmaids duties, beautiful wedding shower, bachelorette party, went to the planning meetings, helped make flower arrangements, etc. Then the night before the wedding at practice. I found out I wouldn%26#039;t be in the maid of honor position her cousin would be, as the matron of honor. Everyone was surprised, bridesmaids and grooms family tried to talk her out of it, but she made up her mind. A few months later. She is pregnant and I am named godmother. I threw her baby shower, helped with 1st Bday. Today, was his 2nd Bday party bought B-cake, gift, made quilt and someone said the child%26#039;s godparents were coming. Refering to someone else! I saw the look on her face and knew it was true. What to do?
Need advice about whether to end a friendship!?
FlowersBirthday FlowersSympathy FlowersYour friend sounds like a real scatter brain who is easily influenced by others.

Obviously someone has told her to choose other people for these positions after she has asked you.

You seem to be almost too nice a person and someone who is easy to take advantage of.

If you really like your friend you can still remain friends with her but STOP doing all these kind and helpful things for her until she actually seems to appreciate you.

I would say just be more of a casual friend unless she smartens up which doesn%26#039;t look like it will happen anytime soon.

If she questions you about any change in your friendship just tell her how she has disappointed and hurt you too many times with her thoughtless behaviour toward you.
Reply:Sorry to say but I think you%26#039;ve been used and abused in what sounds like a one-way friendship. I wouldn%26#039;t make any big issue of it; I just would not be available in the future. She%26#039;s very aware of what she%26#039;s done to you and since she doesn%26#039;t seem to mind, I wouldn%26#039;t mind not letting it happen again.
Reply:Wow...she sounds rather fickle.

That is a tough call.

I am not sure I would bother with her anymore. You don%26#039;t have to shun her, but just don%26#039;t be available at her convenience.

It sounds as though you are a much truer friend than her. Sorry for your disease

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